We read and compared our readings of French writers such as Flaubert, Baudelaire, and Balzac. For five years we had a long-distance love affair that involved writing affectionate letters.
I lived in New York, and he lived in Canada. “I’m tired,” I said, and scurried up to my room to write about the experience in my journal. I smiled and said, “Yes, I did.” When she asked me what show we watched, I said I couldn’t recall the name of the movie. When I arrived home that evening, my mother asked me if I had a good time. The sight of blood was scary however, and even more daunting was deciding what to do with the stained sheets. Although it was a mutual deflowering, he was still very confident. I don’t remember the show, but I do remember what it was like losing my virginity and how comfortable my boyfriend made me feel. One Friday night, his parents were out at a party, and he invited me over to watch TV. I lost my virginity with my junior high school boyfriend. I remember hiding Jacqueline Susann’s Valley of the Dolls under my pillow. I wanted that feeling over and over again.ĭuring adolescence, I often read sexy books. Having my first orgasm felt as if I had transcended universes. We took turns discovering what it meant to be aroused. “This is all you will need to know about your transition into womanhood,” she said and walked out.Įarlier on, as a young child, I was very curious about sensuality and played “doctor” in our suburban basement with a few friends.
It sort of reminded me of the day I turned 12 when she came into my room and handed me a little pink pamphlet called, Your Secret Body. That’s a great book.” End of conversation. I wondered if something was wrong with me for not understanding, but was too embarrassed to ask my mother. I read the first page about five times and still had no idea what May was talking about.
#LOST CHILD OF LUST CRACKED#
In the car on the way home while my mother was driving, I cracked the book open. This book will come in very handy for you, now and through your adulthood.” “You know it’s time you learned about love and lust. My interest in intimacy began when I was about 18-years-old, and our family physician handed me a copy of Rollo May’s Love and Will. I suppose I’ve always been passionate and lustful about life. On Love and Lustįor the most part we don’t change as we age, but many of our characteristics do become more magnified. So, this seems like a good time to discuss the importance of maintaining a lustful and passionate life. I’ve always thought of February as the month of love, whether romantic or platonic.
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